Gimme those boobies!

So if you read my birth story and you thought that was an ordeal, breastfeeding is an even tougher road to begin on. I, like any new mother thought breastfeeding can't be THAT tough, when we were going through lessons on breastfeeding, it was the driest part and I really felt like dozing off but I should have been more attentive! The birthing process only last till baby comes out and that is it. Breastfeeding on the other hand last all the way till you decide to wean baby off. Generally it is recommended to breastfeed up to at least 6 months.

I always thought mothers would instinctively know how to breastfeed and baby would come out knowing how to latch. WRONG. Both mummy and baby will be learning. There are also a thousand and one things to know about breastfeeding so if you are preparing for the birth of your baby, please read up about breastfeeding. Join this group on fb "Breastfeeding mums", mums facing all sorts of problems post to get advice and support. Its a great way to learn from other people's experiences as well as feel motivated to get through the first month of breastfeeding, which is total hell as a brand new mum. I did not have any friends to talk to when I was pregnant and during my first month of breastfeeding so I was really just on my own. Tough would be an understatement.

I struggled with latching in the hospital. We had to get the nurses to help us for every feed. I just did not know if I was doing it right, if baby was getting the colostrum. Latch baby as often as you can in the hospital and get the nurses to help you so you can build up your confidence. NUH was fantastic, all the nurses encouraged and were knowledgeable about breastfeeding, which is very important since you will be breastfeeding about 9 to 12 times a day initially. If the nurses do not know how to help you, I doubt it would be possible to call the lactation consultant for every feed. NUH is a baby-friendly accredited hospital, supporting natural,drug-free delivery, delayed cord clamping, water birth, immediate skin to skin and breastfeeding. If these are what you aim for, going to NUH is definitely the right choice. If you have a gynea that has the same goals with you, chances are you will get the delivery you want, the breastfeeding journey you want. To ensure you are have a good start for breastfeeding, you should try to avoid drug intervention so that baby is the most alert right after birth. They would have higher chance of latching within the first hour.

Aiden was unable to latch in the delivery suite as mentioned and did not stay latched on very well. I hand expressed colostrum and fed him via syringe to ensure he got all my 'liquid gold'. Every time I latched him, he was learning how to latch properly and I was learning how to latch him on the right way. We were discharged when he was 3 days old and I had sorta gotten a hang of it, so I thought. Breastfeeding at home was totally different. Without the nurses around, I did not feel as confident and started doubting myself. When he kept crying it just got me so flustered, making latching him so much harder. With the constant latching, my nipples started to feel the effects. Nipples started feeling sore and sensitive. Latching him would hurt, but I just persisted on. We had EMMA care home visit to check his weight and jaundice on his 5th day and that was when he had a slight fever which did not go away even after a bath. That was when Kelly, my midwife, said maybe my supply has not kicked in and asked me to pump to see how much I was producing. All along I had only direct latched him. When i pumped for the first time, I realized my supply had yet to kick in. We had to supplement him with formula milk as he has lost more than 10% of his birth weight. In the initial days it is way easier to just give fomula. You get your beauty sleep and do not have to latch/pump for 30-45mins every 2 hourly. DO NOT fall into this formula milk trap. For every feed you give formula instead of breastmilk, and you do not pump out, your body will think that baby does not need the milk and produce lesser milk.

There is also an article "What fomula makers won't tell you" that new mothers should definitely read so that you will persist in giving the best to your baby. Family support is exceptionally important as well. If you do stay with parents or in laws who do not support breastfeeding, I suggest you just lock yourself in the room bulk of the time and treat it like a breastfeeding vacation. The negativity will add unnecessary stress which in turn lowers milk supply as well as your confidence in your new found superpower *breastfeeding*. You can try to educated other family members by bringing them for breastfeeding classes, explaining to them the immense benefits over fomula feeding or simply just save up the money you would have spend on formula milk and show them how much it would cost in a month. It is definitely better to win them over before the baby's arrival as it gets extremely stressful with the baby crying, not able to latch properly,being insanely tired, sore nipples, people constantly telling you baby is still hungry, your milk cannot keep baby full so on and so forth. I thought i would be able to block out all negativity but maybe because of the hormonal imbalance, I just cannot help but get affected by every comment.

When he regained his weight and my milk supply started to kick in, we stopped formula feeding except when I could not be woken up. I was just so worn out. When M and my mum try to wake me up for feed, I would snap back at them unconsciously. When I finally wake up 10-15mins later, and I find out they had just fed him formula and I was rock hard, I would feel super betrayed. LIKE WHY YOU ALL SABOTAGING ME?! M and my mum would go on about how tough it was trying to wake me up. Heh.

First 2 weeks was the hardest. My nipples literally felt like it was going to drop off. I would not have survived if M did not buy anything and everything in sight for my nipples when he went out to buy formula for baby. When he come home lugging a huge shopping bag, in my mind I was certain half of the items we wouldn't need it. I WAS WRONG. He saved my nipples! Shall elaborate in the next post.

If your body is able to breastfeed, do it! The bonding is so intense and rewarding. It just makes you feel so happy when you see their milk drunk face.

Enjoy the moment while it last because they just grow so fast! Besides you will never know when they might suddenly wean themselves off / go on milk strike. It is also WAYYYYYY more convenient than bottle feeding. Don't even need to lug big bag around or look for hot water. However if you intend to return back to work, please introduce bottle by the 6th week. I did not and now he rejects bottle So he is extremely sticky to me and it's difficult to tell how much he drinks hence very hard to do scheduled feeding.

It works for me and him though so I am happy:)

My little bald Buddha♥

D-day

As I am nursing the little prince, I do my usual facebooking just so I do not keep track of how slow he is nursing. Nowadays he wants a feed in the wee morning hours, when I am the sleepiest. I came across the news of this other couple (who attended the same hypnobirthing class as hubs and me) that they had just delivered. They had a successful drug free and water birth. I was happy for them of course, but deep deep deep down inside, I was just that tad bit jealous they succeeded and I did not. I know I did try my best and things don't always proceed as planned, most importantly my son came into this world safe and sound.

Delivered by Prof Chong Yap Seng & EMMa Care Midwifery team. Stayed at NUH A class ward.

My midwife : Yours was the longest, most painful delivery(she was pretending mine was like any normal delivery she sees on a daily basis)

Rewind to 1st April, I was already 4 days over my EDD. My boyboy was just happy to stay inside my womb. I had to try to bring on labour naturally if not I had to be induced, which I wanted to avoid. That day was the boulevard party and I agreed to head down early just to kpo since I have not given birth yet. (Walking around more brings on labour naturally) That morning I did feel slight cramps but they were very manageable and irregular so I did not worry too much about it. It could mean a few hours to a couple of days delivery. Besides my hospital bag was already packed so I just went ahead to meet the girls who were working at the party. Throughout the day the contractions came once in a while but all manageable so I just acted as though nothing was wrong and continued talking to keep my mind off the inconsistent contractions.

Last photo being heavily preggers

M joined me after his work. The party was a huge hit. It was so hard to get any food and I was starving. We decided to leave and try Rochor Thai. (Spicy food brings on labour naturally too) As we were eating our thai dishes, I could feel the contractions getting more regular and stronger. They were not as manageable as the ones I felt in the day. On the way home, I mentally knew it could be anytime now. I reached home and started timing my contractions. I tried my best to relax so that the contractions could do their job. Within half an hour, I felt like pooping and my contractions were very regular and getting more painful than I could bear. We took a steady drive to NUH at about 12.30am (2 April) and I was only 1 cm dialated. It was such a long way to go. We stayed to see how my labour was going to progress however with the change of environment, my contractions had slowed down significantly. We went home to allow my labour to progress in a comfortable environment. Once we were on our way home, my contractions started coming closer once again. Upon reaching home, the contractions got worse than before however knowing that I was only 1 cm, I didn't want to head to the hospital again so quickly. Obviously I did not have control on how my labour progressed, we were on our way to NUH once again after about an hour of laboring at home.

6am: Still 1cm.

We were transferred to 4 bedder B class ward as A class ward was full. I could barely rest as my contractions were strong and close. By then, I was so worn out. I could not help but keep looking at the clock. Probably checked the clock a million times the whole process. I was dying to find out how dilated I was even though the vaginal examination hurts like hell. I wanted to know how much longer my labour would last. Was the light at the end of the tunnel nearer?

2pm: I was still at 1cm.
10pm: I was at 3cm. Transferred to delivery suite

By then, I had not slept for over 24 hours and extremely shagged. We had engaged EMMA care team and I asked for them(only steps in when at least 3cm dilated and in active labour). Kelly, our midwife, suggested I go into the birthing pool to relieve the contraction pain and rest up for the next leg in the birthing marathon. Labour can slow down when you get into the pool however mine was so strong it only stretched out from once every 3 to 5 mins to every 10 mins. I was in the tub for 2 hours and managed to catch a few cat naps as my contractions became longer apart. Kelly told M to catch some sleep so he could continue supporting me. When I woke up during a contraction and found him sleeping in the armchair across the delivery suite, deep down I was a tiny bit pissed (well I cannot help feeling betrayed!)

1am(3 April): 6cm:)))

We were so excited! Finally the end seemed nearer. We were told to walk around for a bit before going back into the tub a second time. This time round, hydrotherapy did not work for me anymore. Gave it a try together with laughing gas however the pain was still unbearable. The contraction pain was still fast and furious. I ditched the birthing pool, got out and used only laughing gas. Could not keep track of time after that because I was super groggy from the laughing gas. The next time they checked, still stuck at 6cm. That was when they decided to burst my waterbag to move things along.

All hell broke loose the moment they burst my waterbag. Suddenly bb's head was no longer cushioned and full pressure was down low. the pain was so immense. I could not even stay on the bed. Every wave I have to be on the floor on all fours. I already felt like pooping the whole time but it just got a lot worse. I was trying the birthing stool, bent down, on all fours, and screaming away. I still wanted to try drug free.

6.30am: Prof chong checked and said bb was in posterior position which was not ideal as bb's back is rubbing against mine, hence the back breaking pains.

That was when I submitted to my fate and asked for epidural. Each wave was hitting my every 1-2 mins apart and I would be leaping off the bed. The anaesthetist almost refused to give me the epidural as I was moving too much. M had to geisiao and reassure him it would be fine to jab me. The anaesthetist still slowly go through point by point for the indemnity form. I was on the floor, snatched the paper from him and signed it before he was done going through everything. The anaesthetist and M were both so afriad I would leap of the bed while he jab me. Heck, even I was afraid I would move. I twirled my leg round M's and grabbed onto his arm w all my might and told him to tell the anaesthetist to jab right after a contraction. Once that was in and the epidural slowly took effect, I knocked out.

12pm: Fully dialated! Was told to slowly try and push whenever a contraction occured.

*Epidural does not take the pain of pushing bb out away* Down below feels like on fire once bb head is coming out. Once the head is out, its a breeze. I opted to tear naturally and honestly you do not feel a thing since the burning sensation is all you feel. The midwives used a mirror to show me bb's head and how much more before his head would be out which helped a lot. I was calling for them to vacuum him out cos I was pushing for so long!

2.56pm: Aiden Chia Yong Liang was born

Once bb was out, they immediately place on my chest for skin to skin. It was the happiest moment ever. Seeing his face, I just forgot how tired or painful the whole process was. We opted for delay cord clamping as well as natural birthing of placenta. We had about a whole hr of skin to skin w bb. Bb was bobbing over to my breast but was not able to latch in the delivery suite.

Breastfeeding is a whole other story to be up in the next post!

Once in a lifetime♥

Marriage is a once in a lifetime event, at least so I hope for myself. Since I did not have a complete family from young and I wanted to experience the total opposite. It was the chance for me to just change my life around, my own future family. I wanted a complete, loving and fun family filled with happiness. Getting married, having kids early and being a fun, pretty, young mum was a goal since I was a kid. As I grew older, after experiencing a few bad relationships, it seemed like my dream was not all that easy to attain.

Until M came along, all I did was focus on earning money, having fun and drinking lonely nights away. M showered me with so much love and care that I never thought I deserved. I was also scared that it would all disappear within a blink of an eye. M being 8 years older than me, we are roughly on par in terms of maturity as well as what we wanted out from a relationship. It was not a relationship just to past time but one which helped both of us to be a better someone for the other.Of course we had our fair share of fights. How does a relationship grow stronger without fights? These fights meant nothing in comparisons to the fear of losing each other.

Came the day he proposed!

♦My bling bling♦

THE STONE
My proposal ring was done by White Dwarf. It is located at the industrial areas. Went down so that i could try the ring size. The place is run by a Singaporean who does this on the sidelines. Prefer the service from them as compared to those big chain stores as there is more customisation and choices. They also walk your blur soon-to-be fiance through all the factors to look out for in buying the stone, giving advice as to what can be compromised and what should not be compromised. It is definitely better than buying the stone off commercial brands that charges you an arm and a leg for the branding. It is based on appointments only, great privacy to discuss what you are looking for at whatever budget you have.

My mum all smiles☺Cam shy didnt get to take one with her eyes open!

Guo Da Li that M brought!

He stuck to the tradition of betrothal gift exchange which his mum helped to painstakingly put together. All these was just a start to the very long tedious process of the wedding planning. Many couples get into massive disagreements over the wedding decisions. Luckily for us, we are not that particular and we do not have an ideal wedding to live up to. Our wedding was all planned out within 2 months. Super dealable actually. Do not understand how couples can plan a whole year in advance for the big day. I could not wait for the wedding to be done and over with. Each day that the wedding was not over, more worries start to emerge. Totally unneccessary stress and higher risk of conflict between couples.

PRE-WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY PACKAGE($3888)
We felt that there was no need to buy a wedding dress since I was only going to wear it once and keep it forever stashed somewhere at home. Renting the wedding dress seemed like a more practical option especially since a wedding dinner in Singapore does not come cheap. I came across this wedding showcase that was held by Sheratons Towers Singapore and discovered La Belle Couture. I decided on La Belle due to their selection of dresses available and actually loving a couple of dress choices.We were served by Lucas. Apparently he designs the dresses available at La Belle. I was probably one of the easiest customer he served. I tried on only 2 wedding dresses before deciding on the 2nd one as my wedding dress. The tough part came deciding which were the gowns for our wedding photoshoot. I ended up adding on 2 extra gowns for the photoshoot, on top of what was included in the package.

Wedding dress!

Convertible gown w/o the petticoat

W the extra poof!

Outdoor gown which trapped tons of bugs within the layers>.<

The tightest most uncomfortable gown ever!

Super ohbiang gown but very pretty♥

We were just joking about trying on the red dragon gown but Lucas said that it actually looks pretty good when worn despite it looking really tradional. Glad that I gave it a chance because it turned out way better than expected. We have still yet to collect our actual day photographs (yes been procrastinating) So I do not have a photo to do any justice for my evening gown. Way prettier that what I have at the moment. It is a lovely royal purple (my mum's favourite colour) with a sash that barely covers a sexy bralet design. Everyone was complimenting how beautiful I looked in the dress.

Ex banquet colleagues and my evening gown

Our pre-wedding photographer, Jack was super patient with us since both of us are kinda unnatural infront of cameras. Gotta give it to him man. I was super cranky too cos I had 4 indoor outfit change plus one outdoor outfit. Most tiring day of my life. 9.30am all the way to 6pm. Did not help that the black dress was literally choking me. My face was as black as the dress, ruining the shots. Heh. Thank god Elvina tagged along to help out. I thought outdoor would be tougher to take however it was actually much easier being in a natural outdoor setting than inside the studio for awkward stiff us.

The only cons, the price. We paid a total of about $7000 for everything end of the day. But I doubt you can escape these exorbitant pricing scheme for all pre-wedding packages. The killer was the extra photos. Since we do not usually take photos we just took those that looked nice. M kept going on about being conned even up till now. Both of us are not much of a bargainer. So we just paid. If you bargain with them aggressively and book early I am pretty sure you can get more than what I got.

WEDDING DINNER BANQUET(Orchard Hotel)

Since I used to work at hotels, naturally I knew all the worst stuff that could happen at a wedding dinner. It was crucial to me that I knew who was in charge of my wedding dinner. I can be quite a control freak especially since I knew what and how things should be done.

Usually couples book at least a year ahead however we managed to get a suitable date just 2 months prior to the big day. It would not have been possible without the help of Mon, assistant catering sales manager of Orchard Hotel. He knew how important it was for us to get the right date and ballroom that is big enough for all our guests. He did everything he could to help us secure the big day, 12 October 2013.

Orchard Hotel happened to be changing new rugs in the ballrooms, just in time for our wedding dinner. Since Orchard Hotel is a corporate hotel, the bridal room was not as big as I would like it to be but it was nice and cozy for both of us. It was a deep red theme as well, which I really liked.

We had a total of 30 tables and it was still comfortable for all guests. Menu for the night was the typical wedding dishes, nothing too fanciful since there were 8 courses and when we went for the food tasting, all of us were bursting at the belly.

Holding a banquet dinner was the biggest expense for the whole wedding making up almost 60 to 70% of our total wedding cost. If you like to cut on the amount you need to spend on the banquet some tips are :

• Do a wedding lunch if you feel that you are up for the marathon. Typically the ballroom would be for you all the way till latest 4? After that there would be plenty of time for you to chat with the guest as well after the lunch just outside the ballroom. Whereas if you did a dinner banquet, everyone would be rushing off to catch the last train or bus. Our plan for the big day was gate crashing, tea ceremony, solemnization. There was so much to do and we were worried if one gets delayed, the rest would be forced behind schedule. Plus I knew I would get tired. Imagine how horrible it would feel being so tired but having to smile and entertain all guest. I was not so sure if I would be able to keep my temper in check. WHOOPS. ( Thank god we did not opt for wedding lunch because our solemnizer came 45 mins later than planned.)
• The more courses of food, the more expensive the per table cost. Honestly, you do not need 8 course banquet. Most people would be filled by the time it gets to the 5th course. Also if you really just want to do a banquet dinner for the sake of family, getting traditional wedding dishes is more than enough. It is not a need to have delicacy for every course. Just one or two will suffice.
• Family style banquet is typically cheaper than individually plated banquet style. However when you do go for family style, special orders such as muslim or vegetarian would come as an additional per pax cost on top of the per table cost. Most hotels now serve no pork no lard menu which would typically be ok for muslims. Check with your muslim guest if they are ok w no pork no lard or do they only strictly eat halal food. No pork no lard does not mean it is halal but it is sometimes a good enough alternative for muslims. Halal means the food must have been prepared with halal practices, preferably slaughtered by a muslim, even the cutleries must have been cleansed properly.
• Try and bargain drinks wise what is complimentary in the package. It is the norm that hotels give complimentary one bottle of wine for every guaranteed table. Guaranteed table means that regardless if the table is half filled or empty, it will still be charged, it is like the minimum number of tables for your banquet that you are sure would turn up. You can arrange for more tables than the minimum guaranteed. Those extras are reserved. Only when you want to open the table, that it is charged. So try to finalise the guest list first so you have a rough idea how many tables you would definitely need. It would also be useful to help you decide which ballroom to book as different ballroom have different min and max numbers of tables to fit. Try to get waiver for corkage charge for your own wines and alcohol and free flow beer. The earlier you book your banquet, the more say you have in asking for complimentary items. You just have to know what to ask for.
• Some hotels provide good, practical choices of wedding favours. Look through what they have to offer. If you are totally easy going like me, just use those favours provided complimentary by the hotel and you save a bomb. Some hotels do provide ang pow boxes as well as wedding guest books. Check with them and see if you are happy with the way it looks. Less items to scout around for!

Our wedding favours (Recyclable bag and poker card with love quotes)

• Wedding invites! Our wedding invites was provided by D'invite. Orchard Hotel collaborates with D'invite and Tdragoncards. We went ahead with D'invite because their design was more modern. Our package entitles us to invite for 70% of our total guests however printing of the cards are not inclusive. Hence before you go down to pick your wedding invite designs you should also know roughly how many you would be sending out so you do not overprint or underprint. If you do underprint and you need to print more, there is min 100 pcs, which by them would be way too much for you to use.

ACTUAL DAY PHOTOGRAHY
Orchard Hotel and La Belle have a tie up, if you are holding your wedding at Orchard hotel, you are entitled to 50% off actual day photography. That was what we went with. I was worried that it would be substandard after we paid for it but it turned out just fine. Some pictures here for you to judge for yourselves. Photographer was Ken.

VIDEOGRAPHY
Our video was probably the best expense in the whole wedding. Do not save up on it. It captures that special day and keeps it alive. It was pricey so we only did morning highlights which I thought was more than enough.

PixelMusica did our video. No regrets engaging them. Was a little hesitant about them because they wanted us to go down to meet them and see their work before giving us a quote and all. To me it was unnecessary because I was lazy and there was just so little time to prep everything. Did not want to make a trip down, get my hubs to sacrifice his lunch break and end up not engaging them cos their prices are exorbitant . However hubs said to make a trip down so I obliged. Initially I felt that they were totally trying to do the whole sales pitch, ask about how we met, the day's event of the wedding, show us their works which has won awards and give us background of their videographers. (I like to cut the chase) Hubs loved their approach and was very keen on them and proceeded to discuss about budget. They are willing to work out something that would fit your budget. Of course you cannot be expecting a lot for a dirt cheap price. They take loads of pride in their work so be assured that your big day videography will be in good hands. They do pre-wedding photography and actual day photography too however we already had all those settled. *If you have not engaged anyone for actual day photography, please consider getting them to do it if you are going to engage them for videography so they can plan how to cover the whole day and you not have photographers ruining your videography.


Overall our wedding was pretty much the norm. Sorry not much creativity juices flowing. Im glad everything turned out fine and most importantly we got married!

Officially Taken Forever

So as we are entering into 2014, I finally got around to fixing up a new blog just to keep track all the overwhelming changes in my life. Reminds me of how thankful I should be everyday.

2013 did not start on a happy note for me, life was still the same. Work work and more work, besides the very occasional drinking which I made it a point to cut down. I decided to cut out all the unhealthy activities, spend more time loving myself and to stop seeking for someone else to love me.

If even I cannot love myself, how can I expect someone else to love me?

Work was really rough at one point of time. Despite all that, a special someone crossed my path again. We knew each other about a year ago then, surprisingly exchanging our sad love stories the first time we met. M was such a strong support which I needed after a day's crazy politics. However, he stepped into my life right after I decided not to look for any romantic relationship. I was just going out with different guys as purely platonic friends. Besides, he never did clearly confessed his feelings for me. Going out as friends went on for a good one month but secretly, deep down I was thinking he cant be treating me as JUST a friend. I just played dumb the whole time until one day after a night out with him, I decided he has proved himself different from the other jerks around me and allowed him into my boundaries I have just built around myself not too long ago.

Just friends!

The moment I wanted to pick myself up and start being serious about myself, things started looking better for me. Taking a step out of my comfort zone, being together with him was worlds apart to any relationship I have been before. My work also started getting better and my boss offered me to join full time with a pretty good salary. Life started treating me really well.

Honeymoon period❤

Soon enough it was pretty clear that he was the one. This was the guy I wanted to settle down with. Everything happened how God planned out for us. I am happy God finally revealed his greater plan he had in store for me all along. My many years of doubts had been answered. Shall talk about our wedding in the next post because greater news came along!

♥Look at my cute husband♥

Work was definitely tough since I was the only girl full time and I just hated the work politics. I started to hate going to work and dealing with the stupid politics. Just as I was playing with the idea of quitting, out of the blue, I had this tiny naggy feeling that I might be pregnant, not that I missed my period but that thought just kept popping in my head. I went to get a test kit and tried.

The results came out almost instantly. I was happy of course, it was our baby, with the man I love and I know for sure loves me too but, what is going to happen next? How was I going to continue working? How about our expenses? I know I am more than capable taking care of myself but another one directly relying on me? So many 'what ifs' since none of my friends I know are married or much less pregnant! Since the discovery of the little life growing inside me, it was as though I went for a crash course and had to grow up so much faster than all my friends. Journey since then is not a bed of roses but I am glad i have my husband to be with me every step of the way.

Our first scan